I'm wishing, yes I am

what i have to do to have you near me? I don't need you to be near me physically. Be near to my heart. I'm afraid i would hate this hopeless feeling, it just that i know that you are getting far from me by time. What am i supposed to do to have you by my side, being in your mind always? Really wish that i could be the only person that you've been thinking of. I really miss the moment, where I can say anything that cross through my mind, even it is good or bad, i miss the moment that you're warning me on my silly words and actions. I'm sorry, it is true that the feelings of two people which claims themselves as lover, would never ever be congruent to each other. But then, i always say that it is like it is.  We need to try hard in order to get anything. But to have your feelings towards me, it is impossible. Even i have tried so hard, if your heart does not have a vacant for me, there's no use. :'(

"And I remember all those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here"

"All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it, just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here"

-Avril Lavigne, Wish You Were Here-

perlu ke? being honest is the best yaww.

okay, straight to the point, aku tak suka kau tipu, and kau pun tak suka aku menipu. aite? mana santun kau masa mula2 aku kenal kau dulu? Aku tak kisah kalau kau nak terasa or whatever after you've read this entry. Memang nak kasi kau terasa dan supaya kau boleh recall balik janji2 kau dulu. Dah banyak kali aku pesan, aku tak kisah kau nak pergi ke mana2 pun, dengan sesapa pun, just tell me the truth. Takpayah cakap kau kat rumah tengah buat this and this but then aku still boleh discover yang kau memang tak ada pun di rumah. Kau ingat aku bodoh? Hello man, I do looks stupid, but i'm not stupid. Terkejut dengan ayat aku? Go and tell your friends lah.  Sebab aku memang tak percaya kau lagi. Kau nak cakap yang aku ni tak boleh bertolak ansur? Okay, dah banyak benda sangat aku dah tolak ansur dengan kau. But then, ada kau hargai? Oh man, aku tak mintak kau hargai aku sampai kena tatang aku macam minyak penuh or what so ever. Boleh kau respect aku? Hah, aku tahu, tak style lah kau pulak kena respect budak mentah macam aku ni kan? i don't even reach 20 years old yet pun kan? Aku bukan nak marah, aku kecewa. Kau tak jujur dengan aku. And jangan expect yang aku  nak percaya lagi kau sebab aku tahu, kau tak boleh nak buang habit kau sekarang. There's nothing much to ask for. Just go on with your life, keep doing whatever that you like most.

p/s : tidak ditujukan kepada my MF. sekian.